you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
