Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
