We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize