Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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