But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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