I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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