just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I skipped work to stalk him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
