This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
