I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
