What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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