More tranny stories later!
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
