do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Enjoy the penises
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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