And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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