I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The power of my boobs compel you
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
