Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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