OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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