My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
