don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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