i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
