No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
