how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
