she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
