dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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