i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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