gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wear drunk well.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
