the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
