Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it glows. i had to have it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm way too hungover for life right now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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