Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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