11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
