Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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