Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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