i don't like sucking hair
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
