HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
