Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
