At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize