Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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