There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
