Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
