I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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