so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
