Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize