we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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