Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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