BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i've created a new STD.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
