I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
