I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
