YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
