its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
