it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
