I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
