She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
