Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Someone came in the potted fern
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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