So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
thus making me awesome and them whores
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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