I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
