If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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