Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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