Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
