I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize