If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
