You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
