wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize