Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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